Thank you, Mama, for everything

JUST BE By Bernadette Sembrano
The Philippine Star 05/14/2006

Both my brothers are married and have two beautiful children each. Being the youngest, I am expected to marry last, but maybe not stay single until 30 years old (and counting…). When I was 25 years old, the questions about marriage began. Titos and Titas started asking when I was marrying; they were more concerned about my biological clock.

Frankly, I feel like I’m just 23 years old. There is never a dull moment about my work, or my life. My day starts at 4 a.m., to prepare for my show Magandang Umaga Pilipinas. Sometimes, I have a coverage after the show for Nagmamahal, Kapamilya. I get a blast! I love meeting and interviewing people from different walks of life – from incredible politicians, laudable individuals, and most especially, the poor. The work can be exhausting, but the experience is invigorating. Often, I would joke that my life’s lessons are not from my personal experiences, but those of the people I encounter.

On days that I don’t do fieldwork, I go to the gym, read a good book at Bound Bookshop, practise playing the guitar or just take an afternoon nap. I have no complaints and rarely do I find myself wanting. That’s singlehood for me, and it’s great!

My equilibrium was shaken when two of my nieces stayed with me for three weeks to attend an acting workshop at ABS-CBN. Since I live near my workplace, my eldest brother decided to leave the girls with me – Denise, 10 and Mikhaela, eight (plus, the yaya). The whole scenario reminded me of the movie, Raising Helen, where the character Helen, portrayed by Kate Hudson, inherited her nieces and nephew when her sister and brother-in-law figured in an accident. Not only did her life take a 360-degree turn; Helen couldn’t cope with the responsibility.

I live in a very small apartment with hardly any room for my things.When my pamangkins moved in (with their yaya), we were like sardines!

I don’t mind my beautiful and tenacious nieces staying over, but I admit, it was a challenge.

See, I’m single and I’m used to living alone, in my own quiet space. Silence is music to my ears.

Having children disrupts your schedule in an interesting way. Once, Mikhaela woke up in the middle of the night, crying, because it was too hot in my apartment. We shifted places but I couldn’t get back to sleep and I had to work early the following day. Funny, I also didn’t have the option to stay up late. Since we were sharing just one room, lights out for the kids meant lights out for their Tita Bern.

Their visit coincided with the launching of Nagmamahal, Kapamilya and it was quite hectic then. Whenever I would come home to the girls, I tried to be pleasant. Truth was, my bed was beckoning me. There were also days when I knew I came home like a zombie. I missed dinner with the girls, and the best I could do was apologize and explain that their Tita Bern had a long day at work.

That internship allowed me to get a peek into the life of mothers.

5 a.m.: Prepare breakfast for the family.

6:30 a.m.: Leave for work and get stuck in heavy traffic. (Stress!)

8:30 a.m.: Arrive in the office.

9 a.m. to 5 p.m.: Work and deal with your boss.

6:30 p.m.: Have dinner with kids.

7:30 p.m.: Tutor the kids.

10 p.m.: Retreat!!!

(And a whole lot of other concerns from tuition, hospitalization, etc. Feel free to add to the list.)

Mama Elaine was 30 years old when she had me, and a working mom herself. She was an employee of Philippine National Bank in Escolta, Manila. I’d call her in the office almost every hour of the day. I can still remember the office number: 402051. I was very makulit.

When it was six in the evening, it was time to go to the main avenue of our village. The kasambahay and I waited for Mama’s arrival on board the company shuttle. We had her slippers ready so she wouldn’t walk in high heels all the way to our house which was six blocks away from the main avenue.

On weekends, Mama Elaine would bring me with her to her real estate trippings that earned me the nickname buntot.

She also sold bras at work, too, and I’d be in-charge of putting names of those who ordered inside the plastic of the bras.

Mama was very business-minded because she didn’t want us to experience poverty. When Mama was a kid, she sold sweepstakes, pancit and halo-halo. During All Saint’s Day, she would sell candles in the cemetery and have comics rented out to those visiting their loved ones. Her family was poor and the only reason she finished college was because she was a scholar.

Mama had noble intentions, but I didn’t exactly understand them when I was younger. When I was in Grade 1, I joined a singing contest and other kids’ parents were there. I was looking for my mama in the audience but I was alone. I ended up in third place feeling like a loser and hoped she was there for support. But Mama couldn’t make it because she had to work. I also felt I could have gotten better grades in school if I had a tutor, or if someone guided me with my homework. I did it all by myself. My grades were satisfactory but they could have been outstanding. At the back of my mind, I promised myself that if I had children, I’d be a housewife so I can give them all my attention. In an ideal world, maybe! Mama worked like the energizer bunny because she had to. She wanted to give us the best education and life’s luxuries.

With my work for Nagmamahal, Kapamilya, I come across Filipino women who work abroad to earn a decent living for their families back home. These women would rather keep their ordeal their own. The kids, on the other hand, feel neglected thinking that their mothers chose money over them. It’s very hard to explain to kids because their primary need is their parent’s love and affection… and time.

Now, that I’m older and a bit wiser, I’ve learned to appreciate my Mama Elaine even more. I thank her for all the hard work and sacrifices that she’s done for her family. I pray that other children would also come to understand and appreciate what their working moms have done for them. If not now, they eventually will… when they become parents themselves.

Happy Mother’s Day to my Mama Elaine and to all Supermoms.