Before Sunday Mass last week, I got a text message from my editor Ricky Lo, asking if I could submit my Easter column on Monday (this was last Monday) I said, O.K. but I was actually trying very hard to go through the files in my brain searching for a topic. Ting! …Rabbits and Easter Eggs! I know it would impress readers if I spoke of salvation and repentance, but honestly, during Holy Week, I’m reminded of the fanfare during this long break. When I was a kid, our parents would take us egg-hunting in some hotels in Manila. I also recall making my own Easter eggs, painting them with colors of the rainbow. Please allow me to clarify that I was not totally oblivious to the Catholic traditions. My parents took us to the Grotto in Quezon City. We did the Visita Iglesia and the Stations of the Cross. I knew Easter meant the resurrection of Christ on the third day, conquering death and sin. But what does that mean?!

While I was in church last week, I was trying my best to concentrate and pray, but I was also thinking of my deadline. Forty minutes was spent in prayer, the remaining 20 minutes was spent thinking of a topic. I was distracted. From the priest in the altar reading the gospel, my gaze shifted to the stained-glass designs at the walls of the church representing the stations of the cross. Then I heard the priest mention a portion of the gospel reading:

He took Peter, James and John with Him, and He began to be troubled and deeply distressed. Then He said to them, "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch." He went a little farther, and fell on the ground, and prayed that if it were possible, the hour might pass from Him. And He said, "Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will." (Mark 16:33-13)

I was lost in my thoughts again, then I heard the priest say,

"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46)"

Exactly as the priest said this. I was looking at the stained glass showing the crucifixion. I told myself, kawawa naman. I can never conceive of facing my own death, and brutally! And worse, to be killed by those you love! Not even the telenovelas could think of a plot like that! It sounds impossible, but it’s for real.

Last April 1, April Fool’s day, I got a text from my priest-friend, Fr. Rudy Fernandez, it read: "April-month of Good Friday and the Passion. April begins with April Fool! Jesus is the April Fool, foolish into death for love of us.

In TV Patrol Linggo last Palm Sunday, there was a news item about Filipino Catholics not fully understanding the essence of the season. I took the liberty to ask theologian Fr. Catalino Arevalo to explain it to us. He sent his reply through text:

"Creation and the incarnation of the SON OF GOD ultimate to share the TRINITARIAN LIFE- the life of knowing and loving of FATHER and SON in the SPIRIT with humanity (John 10:10) When the SON came, He came to share everything human EXCEPT SIN… so that… He could in turn share His own divine life and love with us. ("Wondrous exchange!") It was we and our sins that killed Him. We put up the cross. We nailed Him to it. We thrust the lance into His side.

"Through His passion, death and RESURRECTION, Jesus takes our humanity, including his earthly body INTO THE DIVINE LIFE. (Cathecism of Catholic Church, #648), Now by our being joined to the crucified AND RISEN JESUS, joined to His passion death AND RESURRECTION…. Through Baptism, Eucharist and NEW LIFE OF GRACE, we live the LIFE OF THE SPIRIT, the life of divined adoption, which the SON came to give us. WITHOUT EASTER all of this JUST COULD NOT BE. As St. Paul says,"If Christ had not risen, all our faith would be futile. We would still be in our sins!

"Cross without Easter would just have been total failure and disaster. Cross without Easter would have been a total dead-end.

"Where is Easter now, for us, each day? In the Eucharist, and in our daily lives of serving and self-giving love! Especially for those in need of our service and love."

Fr. Arevalo apologized for the length of his text but said it had to be explained. On the other hand, I’m grateful that you still have your other hand for texting! Salamat po! I’m sure our readers appreciate it.

We do not deserve His love, but He chose to die for us.

To me, Easter brings hope because I know I have more in common with Jesus who became human. It gives me strength that Jesus was also weak and had his share of temptations. It makes me persevere that Jesus was also frightened and frustrated. In the Cross, Jesus even questioned God, and that gives me faith.

Even as I speak of faith, I know I have no K, absolutely no right to write about faith in this column. Chances are, my failings could fill all pages of this newspaper–including supplements! Some might find my mistakes a more interesting read… but they’re just between God and I.

Like many of you, I spent the Holy Week out of town to visit my mother. And I’m sure Jesus does not mind. I can almost hear Him say, "Did you have fun? Did you get enough rest?" And I would answer, "Yes, Lord! I needed that break. Thanks for understanding, ha. Sarap!Lamig sa Baguio!"

That’s just the thing! He loves us in spite and despite of everything! However, He asked one favor from us: to love our neighbor as He loved us. I try to reason with God… Pati yung nakakaasar? Even those who’ve hurt me? I know Jesus is nodding. Gulp. Oh no! Didn’t he also say, "Whatever you do the least of my brethen, you do unto me’? ( I’m whining now) Lord, naman! Pwedeng tawad? I’m not a fool! Besides, I already abstained from meat last Holy Week?! Jesus is just smiling at me.

I’m sorry, Lord. I know I said this last year, and two years ago, or I think that was three years ago?… O.K., maybe four?... five? Uhhmmm…. Gulp… forever. Thank God… ay, thank YOU that You don’t keep a list!

Remembering the passion and death of Christ during Holy Week is the easy part for us who call ourselves Christians. We are reminded of His foolish love for us, but how foolish are we to love Him back in our neighbors every day?! Are you a fool? I wish I were. Happy Easter, everyone!